Humor

The Legend of Crypto Cow

My dear sisters on the range, please don’t think me strange;
but I’m Bovina, the Crypto Cow, and I’m push’in for change.

Like you, I live on the range, and see its condition;
then one day I realized, that this goes on and on, because it’s a tradition.

It might come as a shock to hear this all at once;
but we’re bred to be stupid, and live only 18 months.

You see, I have a mission; 
it came to me as a vision.

Putting our trust in those ranchers is a big mistake;
they see us only as steak.

But those BLM fellers care about the land;
after 150 years of overgrazing, now they understand.

But if we work together, there’s a way;
to let the crypto come back, here to stay.

What we must do is stand up to them ranchers;
get it through their thick heads, that we have the answers.

The range has give out, there’s nothing to eat;
We search for miles, and tramp the crypto with our feet.

You see ladies, it’s all about erosion of the land;
150 years ago there was grass, now it’s bare rock and sand.

Besides, the “Beef – It’s What’s for Dinner” promotion has gone awry;
people nowadays would prefer a stir-fry.

The ranchers, they’re in denial;
they claim they’re land stewards, and give you a big smile.

But sisters, we need to get through, 
convince ‘em of what they have to do.

Get off the public lands, that’s what, every rancher and his brother;
give them BLM fellers a chance to let it recover.

But what about them ranchers, they need a “place”;
one they can call their own, where they can get red in the face.

They have a lifestyle, which is a bit strange;
they love “punching” us cows, and riding the range.

Well, I have an idea of what to do;
it’s like what the BIA did for them Indians, when they were through.

It’s called the Bureau of Rancher Affairs, the BRA;
it’ll set aside some range for them ranchers to play.

They can ride their horses, even take a vacation;
while the public lands get healthy again, and provide recreation.

Well, it’s a shocking story my sisters, almost too much for a cow to grasp;
but if we don’t confront them ranchers, give them the word, it may be our last. 

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