"To promote Piping and an interest in Celtic arts
and culture through concerts and educational programs. "
Twelve highlanders and one bagpipe make a rebellion.
Sir Walter Scott
| Performance Dates |
| History of the Bagpipes |
| Bagpipe Components |
| Bands |
| Great Highland Bagpipes |
| Highland Dress |
| Pipe Bands |
| Pictures |
| Band Members |
| Former Band Members |
| Follow us on Facebook |
| Bagpipes and Pipers |
| Scottish Pride Highland Dance |
| A Dating Guide |
For more
information or
to schedule
an engagement
contact
Raymond Nelson
at:
(307) 634-6856
BAGPIPE JOKES..
Do you realize that these jokes are made up by Drummers? It's because we make them march at the back.
Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
A: To get away from the noise.
Q: What's the only thing worse than a bagpiper?
A: Good question. We're still trying to find out too.
Bagpipes (noun) - I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made object never equalled the purity of sound achieved by the pig. -Alfred Hitchcock
Q. How do you get two bagpipes to play a perfect unison?
A: Shoot one.
Q: What's the definition of a minor second?
A: Two bagpipes playing in unison.
Q: What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion?
A: No one cries when you chop up an bagpipe.
Q: What's the difference between a bagpipe and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline.
Q: How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch?
A: He can throw a set into the middle of a pond and not hit any of the ducks.
Q: How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded?
A: You don't have to be very good to get people's attention.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get away from the bagpipe recital.
Q: What's the difference between the Great Highland and Northumbrian bagpipes?
A: The GHB burns longer [but the Northumbrian burns hotter]
Q: What do you call bagpiper with half a brain?
A: Gifted.
Q: What's the difference between a lawnmower and a bagpipe?
A: You can tune the lawnmower, and the owner's neighbors are upset if you borrow the lawnmower and don't return it.
Q: How many bagpipers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five, one to handle the bulb and the other four to contemplate how Bill Livingston would have done it.
Q: How many bagpipers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: 5-one to do it, and four to criticise his fingering style.
Q: If you were lost in the woods, who would you trust for directions, an in-tune bagpipe player, an out of tune bagpipe player, or Santa Claus?
A: The out of tune bagpipe player. The other two indicate you have been hallucinating.
Q: How do you make a chain saw sound like a bagpipe?
A: Add vibrato.
Q: How many bagpipers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to handle the bulb, the other four to tell him how much better they could have done it.
Q: What's the definition of a gentleman?
A: Someone who knows how to play the bagpipe and doesn't.
Q: Why do bagpipers leave their cases on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicapped zones.
Q: What's the definition of a quarter tone?
A: A bagpiper tuning his drones.
Q: What do bagpipers use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.
Q: What's the difference between a dead bagpiper in the road and a dead country singer in the road?
A: The country singer may have been on the way to a recording session.
Q: What's the range of a bagpipe?
A: Twenty yards if you have a good arm.
Q: What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
A: A bagpiper.
Q: What did the bagpiper get on his I.Q test?
A: Drool.
Q: What's one thing you never hear people say?
A: Oh, that's the bagpipe player's Porsche.
PIPING IS LIFE - THE REST DOESN'T MATTER! (I had to put one nice one in)
Q: Why do bagpipers always walk when they play?
A: Moving targets are harder to hit.
Q: How do you know if a bagpipe band is at your front door?
A: No one knows when to come in
.Q: Why did the bagpiper get mad at the drummer?
A: He moved a drone and wouldn't tell him which one
.Q: Why are bagpipers fingers like lightning?
A: They rarely strike the same spot twice.
Tom: "Hey, Buddy. How late does the bagpipe band play?" Buddy: "Oh, about a half beat behind the drummer."Q: How can you tell if a bagpipe is out of tune?
A: Someone is blowing into it.
Q: Why is a bagpipe like a Scud missile?
A: Both are offensive and inaccurate.
On the subject of noisy neighbors, I heard a story about a student at an English university, called Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Skye (or perhaps it was Neill MacNeill from Barra, but anyway ...), who was living in the hall of residence in his first year there. After he'd been there a month, his mother came to visit, no doubt carrying reinforcements of whiskey and oatmeal.
"And how do you find the English students, Donald?" she asked.
"Mother," he replied. "They're such terrible, noisy people. The one on that side keeps banging his head against the wall, and won't stop. The one on the other side screams and screams and screams, away into the night."
"Oh Donald! How do you manage to put up with these awful noisy English neighbours?"
"Mother, I do nothing. I just ignore them. I just stay here quietly, playing my bagpipes."
"At the end of the service, Sgt. MacTavish played the bagpipes on the hillside above the church. Since that time, he has been stationed in Korea."
An American Officer, pinned down with his unit in 1944 in Italy, urgently signalled his CO. "Need reinforcements to rescue us, please send six tanks or one piper."
What do you call a drummer without a wife?
Homeless!
A piper finished a long, hot parade and went to the pub to quench his terrible thirst. He hadn't been there long when he suddenly realized that, although he'd locked his car, he'd left his pipes in plain view on the seat. He rushed back to the car, but was too late. The car window was broken, and there were three more sets of pipes on the back seat.
A Scot visited America. He came home. His best friend asked about his trip. "Americans are the rudest people in the world" he replied. "For example, in New York City I stayed in a fine hotel. I paid a pretty penny, I can tell you, but at nine o'clock in the evening there were people milling around in the hall, noisy and boisterous. At ten o'clock p.m. it was even worse. There were screams, shouting, people pounding on my door. At eleven o'clock people were banging on the walls, and by midnight they were pounding on my ceiling from the room above and on my floor from the room below. You never heard such noise and such language." "What did you do?" the friend asked. "Nothing" the Scotsman answered. "I minded my own business and kept practicing the bagpipes."
S. E. Wyoming Pipe Band
P.O. Box 21133 Cheyenne, WY 82003
Phone (307) 634-6856
Send e-mail to pipeband"at"bresnan.net In order to reduce spam mail I have not posted the e-mail address as a direct mail link, when entering the e-mail address you have to replace "at" with the @ sign.